exploding yogurt and bottomless bags of apples.........

tonight stuart talked me into to going grocery shopping...i wanted to put it off cause i have a great dislike for it....but he lured me with the promise of Costa coffee when we finished...so i agreed........now before we actually started our rounds of the aisles...i set up some guidelines..strict i hear you say...but necessary......as when i shop with stuart i spend my time phoning his mobile asking ....where on earth are you...as once he gets behind that trolly its like i don’t exist ...one minute i am right beside him....stop to look for something...glance up to talk and he is gone...................well this shopping trip turned out to be a comedy act...and i was the act.......i was in the fruit aisle choosing suitable bag of apples...found the perfect type....lifted the bag to put in my now vanished trolly....and the bottom fell out of the bag and the whole aisle was covered in rolling red apples....and of course i had no one to laugh with as stuart had disappeared.....i looked up and immediately noticed a girl at the till had seen the whole thing and quickly averted her eyes...so i wouldn’t see her snigger...so red faced and flustered i started chasing apples and picking them up so the passing elderly didn’t need an ambulance.....................i quickly trotted a few aisles along and was reunited with husband and trolly and quickly gave off for him disappearing and that i had no one to share my embarrassment with.........so on we went to the dairy aisle...and i was trying to choose which yogurt i wanted...i had the ones i wanted turned round ....and you guessed it .......he and the trolly were no where to be seen........muttering about what i was going to do and say to him.....i realised my hand was sticky looked down and i was covered in yogurt....out of hundreds of pots..i had chosen the exploding pot.....and again i was alone covered in yogurt.....and no one to share it with............so i rounded the corner found an assistant and asked for something to clean my jacket..so i didn’t start smelling like baby puke (and for those that know me..yes it was my north face puffa)...one of the assistants kindly offered me his sleeve......by this stage i was fit to be tied........i was sure this shopping trip was a set up.....it took me at least five minutes to locate my lost husband and trolly.....to which i crumpled and insisted on leaving....he wanted to know why my coat was wet..and why i was clutching a big handful of tissue paper........we started sniggering and he convinced me to stay.....i took hold of the trolly for the rest of our trip...and didn’t let go till we reached the checkout..........phew.......an ordinary night out with stuart and alison at the shops......